Tuesday, September 29, 2009

India Vs Australia - A Nail Biter...!

Australian supporters are tensed... The match is happening in Brisbane. Steve Waugh, the Australian captain is setting the field. He is moving his hands vigorously to Shane Warne, who is busily looking at the hot chic in the crowd and exchanging numbers. "There he goes again", thinks Steve, with few choice words!

McGrath, the legendary fast bowler is running to bowl, to the prodigy of Indian Cricket. "Diminutive in size but plays like a dynamite", he thought with frustration of being hit for consecutive fours. 1 ball, 4 runs to win.. It was all well for the aussies when it was 3 balls 12 runs to win, but not now...

The Indian supporters are going crazy, expecting the little master to cruise India to victory.. The girls are going gaga over the new found handsome young boy, who has given them sleepless nights with his mischievous smile, wavy hair and smooth Indian accent.

Dickie Bird, adjudged as one of the best umpires in world cricket, urges the aussies to play... The Little genius takes guard.. McGrath runs in to bowl , muttering some last minute prayers.. The ball is bowled perfectly outside the off stump and patakkkkk is the sound from the bat.. The ball is hurrying towards the boundary.. The Indians complete two and turn for the third.. The ball almost reaches the boundary, when one of the best fielders in the modern era, Ponting palms it back...

But it wasn't too strong and the ball rolls back and touches the rope.. "India winssssss..." Shouts Ravi Shastri over the microphone.. The crowd goes bizarre.. Steve Waugh hangs his head in disappointment, Shane Warne signals the girl that he would catch up later.. The girls kiss the poster of the little genius... The cricket experts declare that he is the best in the game..

In midst of the celebration, the little genius, who is the star of the event jumps in joy.........

And I find myself in hospital the next day..

"Shucks", I thought.. Was it all a dream..... was I really not playing for the Indian Cricket Team?????

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Pain in the Rain!!!

It was a dark and windy night, the wind blowing with all its might!

There I was sleeping on the park, snoring away to glory like a ferocious shark..

Hurtling down came the droplets of rain, which made me look at the sky with utter disdain..

There she came, as bright as lightening.. A face similar to Picasso's painting..

I was mesmerized by her smile and hair.. possessing eyes which showed so much care..

She suddenly looked at me with an awesome smile, which made my heart sore a nautical mile..

She advanced towards me with an MP3 player, silently answering my vehement prayer..

Her perfume was smooth and of the highest quality, which made my heart dance with surprising agility..

I smiled at her and introduced as Harry.. As if she was the girl I was to marry..

She said she was Reena with a musical ease, as lovely as ARR's masterpiece!

We walked around with droplets of rain, slowly introducing me to the lovely pain..

I was joking around with my sense of humour.. Content of pleasing her with my friendly manner..

Is this love? Is this pain? Dreaming was I..

When she touched my hand and said she had to go.. It seemed liked an electric shock right till my toe..

Alas, we had to bid adieu with a heavy heart.. Convinced that she was my lifetime sweetheart..
Eagerly the next day I dialed her number... it was killing to know that it was that of a plumber!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Newton vs Harish.. Round two begins!!!

I was sitting in my principal's room, cursing him for torturing me to sit in his room and not disturb the other 'studious' peers of mine, who were utilizing the free hour to the maximum. We generally used to have a free hour when the teacher would not show up, because the course was vast and her brain not very fast... Now.. When the princi was away, I was meddling with his so called expensive 2 rupee pen when a piece of dirt from the fan came gliding down. To my amusement the shape was exactly similar to the princi's nose, dark and crooked!!! I was rolling with laughter, at the thought of my princi litterally hanging on the fan, with his ugly crooked nose, waiting to be plucked into the vacuum cleaner and thrown into the garbage, his rightful home! This incident made me realise the difference of my premier nemesis's thinking differed from mine...

Who the hell, other than him, would go and sit under an apple tree on a lousy day and suddenly come up with the theory of gravity, just because an apple fell down??? Ridiculous... Pardon me for my ignorance, but what would be the worst case scenario if he hadn't given his theory? Would we have flown in the air? Or the apple which fell down, would have zoomed upwards??? Worst of all, would the cows be flying and secrete their cow dungs like flying saucers? No... Not at all.. Things would have been very normal... Cows walking, Princi barking.. Everything would be as it is today.. Except Humans though, as we defy gravity the moment a compliment passes by!! But one thing he ended up doing with his theory was Suvidha maam's frequent visit to my dreams with her ugly round eyes taunting me to learn about gravity and scathing me due to my lack of creativity..

Newton again played havoc in my college life too... He was the main cause for my AIDS.. Don't misunderstand me, I am straight and so was he.. AIDS in college terminology is Arrears In Different Subject. There were Physics 1, 2,3,4,5...n in my curriculum solely attributed to derail my dream of having a rich father in law... To add to my woes, were the mechanical and the other engineering subjects, which simply pushed me to suicidal heights.. Only thing that stopped me though, was one good news... ANOTHER PRACTICAL IMPLEMENTATION of my FAVOURITE law... The more and more arrears I keep... My % in engineering would increaseee............. and thus continued my tryst with Newton and his insane laws..

Finally, after been given extra time to complete BE and MBA, I joined my company happily, thinking that my Coffee with Newton was over, when our chirpy Center Deliver Head started off.. "My dear colleagues, Very Good Morning!!! As Newton Said.............." and my nemesis was BACK!!!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Newton vs Harish - Round one begins!!!

"Every action, has an equal and an opposite reaction", recited the students, including me.. I really dint understand which action and what reaction but I just moved my lips.. Suddenly, the short, stout and witch looking Suvidha Maam, called my name... I was in my own dream world though, replaying every stroke... played by Sachin.... the previous day, promising myself to play for India in the future....Rakesh, a fat and smelly class mate of mine whom I hated to the core, nudged me and brought me back to reality.. I instintictively stood up and was out of the class in a flash after I failed to repeat the physics rhyme, thus maintaining my long standing reputation of being an OUTstanding student.

Here started my hate relationship for Newton. I have never been a fan of Newton, essentially because he is related to physics and studies!! To be honest and fair to him, my liking (also read as IQ) towards physics was not a cat-ion (GRE word in Physics for positive)..

Anyways, I always blamed the Indian education(grrrr...another cation) for being too theoretical and needed to be more practical and applicable to everyday life. So being a staunch follower of Gandhi, I wanted to practice what I preached... Thus, I wanted to apply the theory on my favorite subject of all...History - which brought OUT the best(?) in me, to such an extent that even the paneer sabji that I had in the afternoon was not spared!! Anyways, my first application of the theory was, the lesser I studied; my result would be equal and opposite, i.e. higher marks and better success. Thus I studied nothing, not unusual though and went to the exam hall head held high.. I pitied the geeks of my class, who were cramming and banging their heads with the book lest a mark be missed!! Alas, there came the result.. 1/100. That one mark was due to a multiple choice question answered 'correctly', more so by fluke. Then came my next practical lesson, this time at home. My parents, being well educated, had high expectations and the result was, my bicycle was cut for a month until I do the re-exam better. Here is when my hate towards Newton and Physics grew more, though he never really cared.

People who know me, would wonder how I completed B.E. in EEE, which has too many circuits and laws for my liking. The only law I liked was a rich Father-in-law, which was the main motive behind my completion of B.E. It was always a cat-on-the-wall situation, if I was to B.E or not to B.E. But having completed a B.E, I am yet to realize my dream though. This sad story is for another blog though, as I am starved with topics and would need to continue this strenuous journey of bragging..err.. Blogging!

Anyways, I would never forgive Newton for his out of the ordinary thinking, simply because it resulted in fatter text books and more studies...

Round two.. to be continued..

Monday, June 29, 2009

Cat on the wall.. U'll definitely fall..!

Rocky was in a state of shock! He was paralyzed, not knowing what to do. His palms were sweaty, ears red with fear and his feet was so cold, that it could have put a corpse to shame.

For the first time in his life, he was in an unfamiliar position. He had to take a 'decision'!!!!

Rocky was a kind of a person who would agree to anything being told and would take a safe path such that his answer is always 'Maybe' rather than Yes or No. His diplomacy was to such an extent that he would drive his vehicle in the median, lest someone misunderstands that he is supporting one side of the road!!

There are number of Rockys in this world who are unable to take decisions, influenced either due to internal or external factors. Thanks to the corporate world, the number on this section of the crowd have multiplied and number of frank and forthright people have dwindled to a great extent. The art of survival has become not to tell anyone their point of view and just accept the way it is. Is this the way the world would go forward? More followers and less number of leaders? Agreed, too many leaders in a team would spoil the party.. but we are definitely not dealing with the problem of plenty here!!!

So, we have two factors leading to this kind of behavior; internal and external. Internal is where the person's attitude is not to take any decisions and later blame the others for the decision taken. Dependency on External factors beyond their control is also high as self belief is minimal. Birth of these two factors, is the baby called 'Diplomacy'. Being diplomatic, a few years ago, was healthy. One was trying to avoid some major conflict and was used more in the political arena. But now its cliched.. the first lesson being taught when you grow up, is 'Be Diplomatic'. Being like this would help in the short run, would keep their life going along at a smooth pace. But somewhere down the line, they would face a problem of having to make a decision that would hurt one of the parties involved and yet, its not in them to take one! Also, when your perennially diplomatic, the trust on the person plummets into an abyss. You really would doubt whether the particular person would stand up for you in case of any emergency! As the saying goes, 'Trust is something money can't buy, for everything else there is MasterCard.'

There is a solution to every problem. Here, there are two solutions. One, is being diplomatic in situations where it necessitates the particular action. For example, if your boss is asking, "Hey, am I looking bald??", sanity should prevail and the answer must be, "Of course not sir, its suiting you just fine". One would be a fool to be forthright here. But, when it comes to situations where one could take a decision,most important thing to remember is - Its impossible to satisfy everyone's whims and fancies. Rather, the policy should be to satisfy the most important of the people and the others left to their own fate. Accountability is a must and the person to evaluate is the individual himself....

Thus whether Rocky chooses a tricky path of walking a thin line, and falling eventually, or be courageous enough to take tough decisions is left to him. But, which one would be taking??

Thursday, June 25, 2009


"Hi Aunty, Good Morning!! How are you?", I said

"Hi Harish. Not very good beta! That Moron(a.k.a Mrs.Chottu, our friendly neighbor) has started watering our plants and the car too! I am surprised she has enough brains to buy a Diamond Necklace................." Mrs.Champu's voice trails off, admiring the lovely necklace. I wanted to compliment her for the glittering eyes she herself possessed, which was brimming with jealousy and contempt. Poor Mr.Champu, he was with a band aid the very next day, the reason being a mad dog bit him! Ahem ahem, the real reason is left to your own imagination!

Bad relationship with neighbors start from the grass root level, let alone with neighboring countries. In my opinion, there is cure for everything (even AIDS if your careful) except EGO! Ego is another misunderstood word(apart from love). In my opinion, this is a friendly enemy residing in you! You can be accomodative to a level until your ego doesn't get hurt. But, if your ego is going to hurt someone, it becomes your enemy.

Analogy can be brought out with the incident between Mrs.Champu and Mrs.Chottu. Both nations, read as India and Pakistan have egos to the maximum and they are countries who wear their heart on their sleeve. Of course, one might argue, two nations who pride themselves with rich culture and background, why can't they have an ego? Yes, they could until Mr.Champu, read as people of both nations, don't get hurt. They could have ego until, people like me(in the above example), also read USA, doesn't have to be the judge of the fight and laugh behind our back. Personally, every time India goes and seeks the approval and help from US, it definitely hurts the ego. Point well taken that they are the super power, but can't India and Pakistan do something the very least to stop the bloodshed for a peice of land?? Anyways, is politics this simple? If yes, educated and dedicated youths would take up politics with a vision to make India a super power rather than coding a stupid software which is making another nation stronger!!!

Where does the problem really lie? India has been in troubled waters with its neighbours for quite sometime now. If my history is right, we have had problems perennially with Pakistan, China, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. But, there is a bigger enemy, which is a simple two letter word: US. No, I am not blaming the United States here but referring to us; we people who need to own up some responsibility towards the growth of the nation. We blame the politicians for being corrupt, don't we? But don't we play a part to it? Aren't we the first person to pay some money to the pujari in a temple to move us ahead of the line? Don't we pay the policeman lesser amount, just to reduce our fine by few hundreds, making it a habit for them to quote higher and charge lesser which is into their pocket? Don't we use influence to get things done faster, when a common man has to wait in line and is the rightful owner of our possession? I could go on and on, and I am also a part of feeding this ugly demon too. But, conscious efforts must be taken by all of us, to take the rightful path and have our foundation sturdy. Without killing enemies like corruption, religon and caste fight, female foeticide and lack of education, Mrs.Chottu vs Mrs.Champu scenario would continue and Mr.Champu would continue bleeding, with people like me enjoying the destruction of both the families. End of the day though, Mrs.Chottu must take care not to water other's house and their car, also read as terrorism and Mrs.Champu must not hurt Mr.Champu, just to satisfy its own bank balance and ego. Jai Hind!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Butter and Jam - Traffic Jam!

The maddening traffic in Chennai has made me start blogging. Thank you 'Singara' Chennai.

My day of travel on the road starts with adding on to the list of 'acquaintances' in my life, that has been on a steep rise. The blissful words that is exchanged is of highest quality and doesn't involve the individuals alone, but also the entire family members and future generation.

Then comes the bliss of watching two wheelers, zoom their way past the traffic and make a mark of their presence on my car. Moreover, its a real treat, especially when your in a hurry, to watch two of them on either ends of the road and speak to each other, with no room for the car to pass in between. I must add that 4 wheelers are equally co-operative and occupy the complete road.

With the government in a mood to construct fly overs to add on to their already bulging bank accounts, is another cause to rejoice for commuters like me. It would be crude to miss our law makers, the traffic police, who don't wear their helmet and come on the wrong side creating a havoc. Of course, they are beyond rules you see..!! And yes, not to forget the pedestrians who are highly motivated to cross only when a vehicle is 1metre ahead of them and challenge the driver to hit them. I almost forgot our newly designed aeroplanes that fly on the road, also branded as 'autos'. They are free to move from left to right, up to down and also to land his plane in the middle of the road, and bargain with his customer about how high the fuel prices are and his 'tender' heart of charging nominal rates!!

Chennai's strength is equality and we don't mind cows, dogs, deers and donkeys crossing/sleeping on the already 'wide' roads! To top it all, driving license has been given to color blind commuters too, who due to their inability, honk even when the signal is red! Chennai roads are a testimony to how life is all about - UP & DOWN! Kudos to our government's attitude towards teaching a lesson to the voters! Wish they could also give lessons that pot holes are not wash basins to spit and lane driving isn't that bad after all.

After such an eventful journey, I reach my office, only to find that I have forgotten my ID Card - Could anyone help me get it, PLEASE!!!???