Monday, December 12, 2011

Day of my Marriage – Took the chunk of my age!

Entering into the family of being a family for the last six months, it is been a new experience to say the least. The ride has been the best in my life and looking forward to a wonderful life with my best half. But being a family man now, thinking back on the ritual for the marriage sends shivers in my body.

You meet people who tap your memory to such an extent that they say “Do you remember this uncle? I met you when your mom was six months pregnant”. God, the way I had to nod my head from North to South rigorously to convince him I saw him through my mom’s uterus which would easily be an input in my resume for marketing jobs.

Your marriage day is never your best day apart from uniting with your best half. Worst part is you spend chunk of lifetime savings for other’s entertainment. Attraction to a marriage is food and the most important people involved hardly get to taste it. By the time we went into the dining hall, we were physically and emotionally drained. People’s cruelty would be at the highest when they say “Beta, the food was amazing”. And sadly, you would be standing there smiling from end to end, cursing them of an unpleasant journey in the night from their bathroom to their bedroom.

Marriages are made in heaven!! Very true.. especially if I believe how they portray heaven in movies. All smoke..!! South Indian marriages are made in a smoky environment with semi nude pundits competing with each other on who is louder. Louder the pandit; Happier the audience; Grimmer the couple.

Relatives play a key role in marriages. They have marriage as their base to launch their political career. I am sure Google brought in Google+ circles seeing the relatives form their own circle & criticise on how better the marriage can be conducted. The competition of who is more important is intense and reality shows like Big Boss would beg for such masala.

The day of marriage also brought about a business idea – Start a Beauty Parlour!!. Being a south Indian, you have to fall at everyone’s feet (Including Security Munsamy) that you couldn’t help but notice the number of people who require pedicure. This misery was accentuated when people wore socks which had natural air conditioning and smelt of the coovum river which flows beautifully all over Chennai.

Receptions are a mere slaughter of the couple. You are made to stand with make up which doesn’t make up for your flaws in front of number of people which makes you feel bad for the animals inside the zoo. Gifts are given – Big Boxes and nothing inside! They proudly give you the gifts and stand for photos as if its a modelling shoot. The photographer would say ‘Thank you sir, you can move now’ and they would still keep smiling since the lights are on from the video man. Adding to your owes, you have keep smiling broadly to look good on photos where this man would crop you and put his photo as his profile picture on FB. Moreover, you have to ‘Like’ it as well as you would be tagged for your existence on the original.

Photograph sessions are nightmare. They make you stand in various yoga positions claiming it to be highly romantic! And you have to comply as your parents have the gun over your head showing the bill they have paid to the photographer. The results on the album are not very encouraging and you are unsure whether to blame yourselves or the photographer.

Nevertheless, nothing comes easy and so does a wonderfully married life. Therefore, advice for my single friends is – Never fret marriage, fret the marriage process!